1:04 a.m. - 2003-06-24
Lessons.
Today is my first day of work at a pool in just over 10 years. They have thrown me into teaching swimming lessons again, right away, although I lack the certification that the Red Cross--or was it the county?--formerly required for the position.

This leaves me feeling....faintly lawless and ready for trouble, although teaching lessons is on the short list of abilities in which I feel--surprisingly, amazing--entirely and completely competent. Proper technique is impossible to forget and it merely takes patience and fortitude to teach.

But I'm nervous anyway, as is my custom.

I'll have one 1/2-hour class of 4-to-6 year olds, one 1/2-hour class of 7-to-12 year olds, and one 1/2-hour class of adults. I'm scheduled for two full hours, however, so it would seem there's a fourth 1/2-hour class --perhaps composed of corpses or the undead, in keeping with the progression.

...Speaking of corpses!

My supervisor Dave called a pre-season staff meeting to announce that--due to budget shortfalls--the neighboring waterfront will be "closed", which is to say "without lifeguards," and with signs posted as such. Which will do very little in the way of keeping determined or drunk merry-makers out of the water.

"So, I hate to say this," he said, " but someone's probably going to drown at the waterfront this summer."

Everyone around the table tried to look as though this seemed reasonable, and entirely in keeping with their summer plans.

I began calculating the odds of It Happening on my shift.

So far, I feel confident that Monday and Wednesday evenings are fairly safe, and am praying for cold, rainy Saturday afternoons until at least 3:30pm.

I feel as though I ought also pray for the safety and abiding horse sense of the general public, and maybe I will--although I have more faith in the rain.

God, sometimes I suck.

We suited up then at Dave's behest, and learned the proper procedure for searching the bottom of the lake.

Two lines of 6 abreast perform a surface dive to the bottom, and feel with oustretched arms to either side. If no person is encountered, we swim two body-lengths along the bottom and surface, then scull backwards one body length and wait for the head lifeguard to signal another dive. Repeat.

...I guess I learn something new every day.

Hopefully, not always this repellant.

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